Experiencing Stephen Covey’s work through Horses 

Introduction

The Seven Habitsof Highly Effective People and other works of Stephen R. Covey have made a big difference to our lives - personal, as well as business. This article is written to give people who are interested in Stephen Covey’s work the opportunity to look at the material from a different perspective. To meet our goal we introduce a metaphor: horses.

As our knowledge of Covey’s work increased, we found that our understanding of horses and their nature rose considerably. In fact we have studied with some of the best horsemen in the world and by doing so we found amazing similarities between horsemanship and leadership according to Stephen Covey. We would like to share our findings with you. For a thorough understanding of the material, we advise that you read The Seven Habits first and preferably The 8^thHabit as well.

Why this metaphor?

At the very heart of each one of the 7 habits lie self-evident principles that never change. Covey defines principles as ‘the actual reality, the way things are’. In fact principles are Natural Laws, like for instance “The law of the harvest”. On a farm one cannot cram (like perhaps we all did in school sometimes). It would be foolish to neglect any of the steps needed for a good crop and only work your butt off at the end of the season. You simply have to obey the law of the harvest, which means: plant in the spring, weed and water during the summer and then hit it hard in the fall to bring in the harvest. A farm is a natural system governed by Natural Laws.

A famous horseman once said: “Horses are Nature in its finest form”. He was not only talking about the beauty of this animal. Horses represent the same laws of Mother Nature as the principles Stephen Covey mentions. In contact with a horse one has to submit to these laws. (Although to our regret, lots of people dealing with horses are not aware of that.) If one wants to reach a high level of performance with a horse based on understanding, respect and trust - one cannot cram. There are no short cuts. In contact with a horse one will constantly be confronted with Natural Principles.

Our discovery of the parallels between horsemanship and leadership caused us to develop a training program for managers and executives. We named it Horsenality®. This term is derived from the word Personality. It represents the personality of a horse.

Maybe you have heard this quote: “Horses never lie”. It means that a horse’s reaction to his environment is always straight and honest. A horse reacts from instinct and knows no shame, no second thoughts, he simply cannot lie. That means when a person meets a horse, this horse will mirror this human’s personality, crystal-clear. The reactions of the horse are straightforward feedback on the actions of the person.

Our customers valued our program because they were experiencing things that were theoretically taught before. They could practice material from Covey’s work in real life with an animal that represented the Natural Laws that lie at the basis of them. That blew them away!

What is the paradigm?

To give you an idea of what we mean by horsemanship we want to depict our paradigm of the horse. Traditionally man used horses for their physical abilities. They had to carry loads, pull carriages, they were the main means of transportation for ages and they were slaughtered for meat. Even today horses are used in sports because of their special physical capabilities: jumping, running, pulling, dressage, etc. Putting emphasis on this one aspect of the horse carries the danger of forgetting that this animal is a creature with emotions, feelings and thoughts. This is exactly the way we like to look at the horse: as a complete creature.

The consequence of this new paradigm is that we have to cope with all aspects of the horse. Not only do we develop his physical capacities, we also help him to get braver (emotional capacities) and cause him to think more (mental capacities).  We even believe horses (like humans) have spiritual intelligence.

The first thing a horse teaches us is to be proactive. We need to take the initiative. We need to have a “not-blaming-the-horse” attitude. Since the horse is what he is, we are the ones that have to adapt to him first. Everything the horse does is the effect of our communication. We want something from him/with him. That means that we single ourselves out as his leader. But are we good enough to be his leader? Can we be so good that the horse follows our suggestions willingly, i.e. without compulsion, but on the basis of understanding, respect and trust?

We ask our horses to do all kinds of things and lots of these things don’t look different from what you might be familiar with: we ride them, we let them jump, walk over plastic tarps, go into trailers, etc. But like we said, we like to achieve this through understanding, respect and trust. It takes time to build these shared virtues. In fact what comes into existence is a deep relationship between man and horse. The quality of this relationship is the condition for everything you do. When the relation is bruised, the horse won’t do as much with you as before. The relation between you and the horse is the “Goose”; the things you two do together are the “Golden Eggs”. When, for example, you ask too much and the horse gets scared, his level of trust goes down and he won’t perform as willingly as before: the amount of Eggs will decrease. On the other hand, if you are able to communicate in the right way, the Goose produces more and more eggs. If you choose the right style of leadership, you and your horse can do amazing things together!

This style of leadership we call Partnership. You and your horse are partners. You have the role of the leader; your horse is the follower. You are constantly seeking to let the horse be a winner. This builds his trust in you as his leader, which causes an increasing level of performance. This is what you want, so you both become winners! Remember habit four: Think win/win?

How does it work?

Horsemanship is an art with infinite depth. On the other hand it is very simple and everybody with some understanding of the horse can communicate with this animal. In our Horsenality® training programs our customers – who usually have no experience with horses – play with our horses on the ground – they do not ride them.

In the arena they are confronted with a species they know almost nothing about and the object of the program is to communicate with them, even to be a leader for them. Here habit five comes in: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood”.  This extreme situation teaches our clients this habit in an exaggerated way. They really have to carefully go through all the steps from understanding to being understood.

We give them the following information about horses: Horses are prey animals and live in herds. Obviously we are talking about horses in their original habitat like the deserts of Nevada, California and New Mexico. Their strategy for survival in case of danger is to run like hell and stay together. Being alone is committing suicide. The big herds are a pack of smaller bands that usually consist of one stallion, a couple of mares and their foals. What is interesting is that the stallion is “the boss” but not really the leader. He is there to protect the herd from rival stallions, to fight predators if necessary. He keeps all members of the band together and of course he has his role in the production of offspring.

The one who really leads the band is the alpha mare: Usually an older mare with lots of experience and wisdom. She’s the one who decides where to graze, when to go to the waterhole, etc. Some alpha mares have to fight to gain this leadership position; but usually these mares are followed willingly by the rest of the herd because it is obvious for them that she is the best horse to lead. This is called “passive leadership”. In order to survive, leadership is of utter importance. All members of the herd simply have to stick together in order to prevent being an easy target for predators, i.e. a mountain lion. No discussions during a flight! Horses in the wild are truly interdependent.

If you have ever seen pictures of a herd fleeing, you can see that they move like a shoal of fish. They are so connected together that they move like one horse. This is rapport at a high level.

Horsemanship starts with finding rapport with a horse. Although horses whinny, their main way of communicating is body language. With their body they express their affection for one another (nibbling, softly touching) but they also show their hostile intentions. They move each other around by body language; with or without physical contact. As horsemen we just copy what horses do. This way we get ourselves understood. 

Now imagine you’re in our arena with one of our horses. It’s a beautiful black Frisian horse named Jasper. The first thing you do is try to read his state of mind from the way he looks. Is he relaxed, perhaps a little skeptical? Can you go to him and let him sniff your hand? Well, he’s accepting that…, go on stroke his neck…. Ah, his head is coming down a little: he’s relaxing. Try to slowly touch his whole body…. All you are doing is becoming friends: Being on the same page together. Take your time, there’s no hurry….!

You know, maybe the two of you can move off a little together. Visualize going somewhere. Have a plan! Imagine you and Jasper are a herd, a herd of two. Take the role of the leader. Be the alpha mare as well as the stallion in one person. The mare points out where to go. Simulate that by focusing on your goal, maybe even point at it with your hand. In a herd the stallion follows the herd and bites the butts of the ones that do not come along. Simulate that by threatening his behind a little with that stick we gave you…. But be careful! Just the right amount of intention or he’ll distrust you and run away! Okay, there you go…!

When one of our customers and a horse move off side by side (no rope is attached to the horse), something magical happens. Our client feels that the horse reacts to every move he makes. They can go anywhere together as long as there is mutual understanding, respect

and trust.  And that’s the hard part… The human constantly has to readjust his communication to the reactions of the horse. The two of them can do amazing things but the human has to be a “serving” leader. With compulsion or force he only obtains distrust and disrespect. The relationship goes down the drain and results are not achieved. Everything the human does either adds to or subtracts from the emotional bank account of the horse. Getting pushy is a subtraction but being a wimpy leader with no plan or focus is a subtraction too! Respect and trust: hard to get, easy to lose…On the other hand, helping a horse to get so brave he can cross a plastic tarp without fear or giving him a release at the right time are deposits. 

Well…, Jasper seems to like your way of leadership! He is following you everywhere…. Now, try to cross that plastic tarp over there together…. Keep in mind that it’s a little scary for him. He’s not used to tarps and the crispy sound of it reminds him of a lion crawling through the bushes! Try to find the right balance between stimulation and relaxation. Be with him constantly and guide him through the process. You see he’s with you all the time? He figures you have a plan. And it has to do with the tarp. Look! He places one foot on it…. Reward that by relaxing and saying thank you with your stroking hand….. Do you see him licking and chewing? That means he’s mentally processing what just happened. He understands you! Now invite him to do another step….. Take your time! Ah, Jasper put another foot on the tarp, great! Now, let’s walk away from the tarp and do something else…..

What’s most important in this process is that the horse is free to choose whether he takes a step or not. He is not forced on the tarp, he is invited. You as his leader are creating the circumstances for him to develop. This builds his self-confidence and the mutual respect and trust between the two of you. The process of getting on the tarp seems to go slowly but by taking the time it really takes, something changes in the mind of the horse. Next time he will be braver and things will go twice as fast. The next time it will go faster and so on. Eventually you’ll see that slow is fast.

What is crucial is that the leader has a plan (Habit two, “Begin with the end in mind”). Horses (as well as humans) find security in that. 

Now let’s formulate another plan. You stand in the middle of the arena. Jasper has a 12 foot lead rope on his halter now that you are holding the end of. In the other hand you have your 4 foot stick with a short string at the end. Ask Jasper to walk around you in a circle at the end of the lead rope. Point out where he should go with your lead rope hand and support this with your stick….. Yes, there he goes….! Now stand in the middle and do nothing….. Just allow him to circle around you. No, don’t keep supporting his movement with your stick, put it down…! Jasper has to take his own responsibility. He can walk on his own. If you keep on reminding him to walk he will get irritated and in the end he will get dull and lazy. Nothing is more de-motivating then being motivated when you are already motivated! Just do something when he does not keep walking. Then remind him to walk again, maybe with a little more insistence then before….

A lasting experience

Giving responsibility to the one you lead builds his self-esteem. We found that if you play with a horse like this, he will come up with suggestions. For instance, in our games we use a little pad that lies on the ground. Sometimes we ask the horse to place a specific foot on it. More than once we were just moseying around it and the horse put his foot on the pad looking at us as if to say: “Shall we play this game?” Horses treated this way get creative, just like people get creative when they are guided and allowed to find their voice.

From the way we described the exercises we do with horses it may look like we are training the horses. We do, but in fact they are training us more! By playing with them we increase our emotional fitness. We don’t get frustrated so easily anymore. We learn to stop, look and listen. In other words our space between stimulus and response gets bigger. 

Humans are target orientated. We tend to rush to our goals, forgetting the needs of the ones involved. Horsemanship teaches us to adapt to the ones we lead. Slow is fast. We learn to have a clear plan, to start with the end in mind, to figure out what needs to be done first, to have a win/win attitude, to first seek to understand, then to be understood. Synergy lies around the corner…

By taking part in our Horsenality® program our customers get a grasp of the spirit of Covey’s work. Of course they get the information Stephen Covey created through books or a course. But by experiencing the horses they feel it in their bodies. Sometimes this process is reassuring but more often it is confronting and transforming paradigms about oneself.

Another paradigm that usually shifts in our workshops is the paradigm about horses. Lots of people developed a distorted idea about horses in their past. Sometimes they are even scared of them. Getting to know this species and finding one can really communicate with it gives people a feeling of reconnecting with something deep inside. Have you ever met a two or three year old kid that wasn’t fond of horses? This emotion lies in all of us. It’s an emotion of being connected to Nature itself.

One final thing: When you take horsemanship seriously, it is a lifelong source for personal development. A horseman gets trained in leadership on a daily basis. So, if you really want to study Leadership, Get a Horse!

Lunteren, April 2008